January 2012
2 posts
its crazy how different things were a year ago
a year ago i was talking to him everyday
i was happier than i could ever imagine, not believing things were working out and going my way and that my life was that aamzing
and now im sitting here alone, without even a happy new year text to show he still cares of my exsistence
ughh i wanna say that 2012 will be better but right now its really not….
maybe since last year started out...
December 2011
19 posts
well...hes not mad at me
at least i dont think, considering he started poking me again on facey. but what i dont understand is why he’ll poke me in the morning and then be online for the past hour and be active but then not poke me back……like wtf
like i seriously think he just doesnt poke me when hes with her even though i thought he wasnt with her i mean i could be wrong but its just annoying like WHEN...
hes mad at me
and its all because of belugs. she found my other account through my friends tumblr and saw a post that was about her but i mean it was just a generic fuck you post, like no names, no hints thatd itd be her, nothing. so she makes a post on her tumblr and is like im sorry that you cant be with the guy you like but i hate ppl who hate me just cause of who im dating. like no bitch no. yes i resent...
i really fucking hate you
like tonight was good tonight was fabulous
and then you fucking ruin it with a sentence, a mother fucking sentence
like ive never hated anything more than i hate you
i should be excited and i try to keep reminiding myself that tommorrow im hanging out with my dream guy……literallly dream guy but still i wish it was him….like i should be jealous but i mean its just hard cause it...
its days like these....
that i need you more than anything
i need you to vent to even if you dont fully understand or listen to every last word
i need to run to you and escape
i need a shoulder to cry on and for you to hold me and tell me everythings gonna be alright
i need you now more than ever and you’re the furthest you’ve ever been
i love how i ask one favor of you
and you say you have to “think about it”
when you and i both know thatd id be there in a second for you if you needed anything anything
like you beg me to go to your mother fucking shows and get mad when i cant cause i already have fucking plans
and i ask you to do something thatll be two hours out of your precious fucking life and its as though im asking you to go spoon feed baby...
and just when i thought i was finally getting over...
he comes sweeping into my life making any progress i had made shot to hell. i had come to accept that there had been absolutely nothing at all communication wise between us in like two weeks so i assumed it was finally done. i was surrounding myself with other things. he wasnt on my mind constantly, i didnt torture myself laying up all night replaying scenarios in my head, i didnt feel...
November 2011
19 posts
im having one of those days....
where i insist that this whole mess i call my current love life is all my fault and that im the reason things are the way they are. i start to over think everything, look for signs of where it went wrong, pick apart memories that at the time seemed flawless and now all i can focus on are the things i should have done or said or things that could be the reason why he left. i mean i cant say that it...
jealousy
jealousy, its something everyone has and experiences at least once in their life and to anyone who says they dont feel it is a straight up liar. every so often the green with envy monster comes out and takes over making you feel pissed, angry, upset, sad, gshdjhss and eveyrthing in between. ill be the first one to admit that im an EXTREMELY jealous person when it comes to some things. clothes...
long time noo blog
i mean i know my zero followers really give a shit but this is a place for me to vent so what the fuck ever. long painful story short……i lost him to belugs, officially. shes his girlfriend, he’s her boyfriend, the title and companionship that i could only dream for with him has been taken from me and given to her who doesnt even deserve it. the day i had dreaded and secretly...
October 2011
5 posts
September 2011
44 posts
i should be happy......but im not
so the past few days have shaken everything up and all thanks to a little thing called facebook. i had a facebook for the longest time but about a year ago i deactivated it for a lot of reasons but long story short, it didnt exsist for about a year, that was until i decided to revive it on monday. i kinda missed it and felt a little left out, like i was missing a part of the teenage expereience...
so i havent ranted in a while
basically because there’s nothing to rant about. yeah any love life that somewhat exsisted in my life has transformed into a massive tumbleweed blowing across a deserted unloved prarie. i havent talked to him in about two weeks, and its killing me. like i thought i was able to deal with it, i mean ive finally just come to my own assumption and own conclusion that hes with belugs plain and...
